Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
