Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
