He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My cat gives me a boner
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
