Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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