i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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