why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
