I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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