Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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