He is an equal opportunity slut.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
