Your mouth is God's brothel.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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