we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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