he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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