i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
