why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
