I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
