Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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