What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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