Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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