He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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