she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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