she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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