May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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