Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize