I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
