Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
