I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
