so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
