Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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