the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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