I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We're too hungover to prance.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
