Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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