chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
