My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
