Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
