Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he fucked my hip out of place.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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