Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
