My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I didn't notice because vodka
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
