yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize