Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
