Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had to coat check the pizza.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
