hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
