but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
