my text book just quoted the cookie monster
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
