we have officially lost it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
