rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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