I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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