i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
