This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he thought i was a dude.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
