So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
