There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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