thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
