oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize