It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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