Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
