I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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