Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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