Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
