Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
