you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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