He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
