I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
