Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I die, sorry about rent.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
